- Q. What would happen if you lock a zombie in a room full of lawyers?
A. He would starve to death.
- Q. What does it mean when a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule?
A. It means that after you pay his bill, it’s financially hard to get back on your feet.
- A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. “There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only 55.” “Fifty-five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to our calculations, you’re 82.” “How’d you get that?” the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter, “We added up your time sheets.”
The only people who benefit from lawsuits are lawyers. I think we made a couple of them rich.