Lawyers Wit

Lawyers’ Wit

  •  Q: What’ the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
    A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid more for a longer fight.
  •  Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
    A: You cry when you cut up an onion.
  •  I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired license plates. The judge listened attentively while I gave him a long, plausible explanation.

Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you – we’re just fining you.”


War is the statesman’s game, the priest’s delight, the lawyer’s jest, the hired assassin’s trade.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

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